It’s the natural feeling of green envy, seeing someone else with something you want. Wondering what you’re doing wrong compared to them and seeing nothing more than failures and missed goals. We’re genuinely proud of their accomplishments but also saddened to realize that we’re not quite there yet.
Their accomplishments compared to yours seem inadequate, countless achievements, graduations, engagements, marriages, children, career opportunities and far-away travels consume our timelines. In the midst of all the glitter, we forget to realize that we only see the image they want to portray. We don’t see their weaknesses, struggles, and failures as we predominately see our own.
“Compare Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, and You’ll Get Nowhere”
-Uncharted, Sarah Bareilles
As we continue to grow into adulthood both professionally and personally, learning the skill of admiring someone else without questioning your own dreams and goals is an important key to happiness.
Be Your Best Self
When you look in the mirror what do you see? When you walk out the door in the morning how do you feel? I hope the answers are beautiful and strong. My first mentor always said, “How you see yourself is how the world sees you too”. Back then, I didn’t know what that meant or maybe I just didn’t care but now I understand. It means that when you see beauty in yourself then so will everyone else. It means that when you walk out the door feeling strong the world sees confidence. And when you have self-confidence then the achievements of others will never be a comparison to those of yours.
Celebrate the Little Things
You came across your favorite limited favor of Ben & Jerry’s? Hooray! (Hail to Chocolate Fudge Brownie and may it never go away) but seriously, no matter how small find happiness in the little things. Most of us overlook the everyday accomplishments and speed through the moment without noting the achievement. Yeah, it’s not a life-changing event but not everything can be, so take a minute to simply acknowledge all the things that make you happy. Putting an emphasis on celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how small or big is the perfect way of showing self-gratitude. Be proud of yourself and where you are in life because no one else can show appreciation for the things you’ve done better than you.
Focus on One Goal at a Time
I dream BIG and start making plans at the speed of lightning. Planning and implementing deadlines for this and that but when it’s time to start moving into action I’m all burned out. One of the things I’ve needed to acknowledge is that success cannot be rushed. Life is not a fairytale and most things will never come easily. Stay focused on one goal at a time and step by step you’ll find yourself climbing higher up the ladder.
Stop Obsessing Over Everything
One of the biggest obstacles to overcoming comparison is letting go of obsessions. You might not even know you’re doing it but we can all find ourselves in a race that no one else is competing in. We stop living in the moment and start obsessing over what everyone else is doing and lose ourselves in the fears of not being able to keep up. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, transfer your energy into the passions and goals that you hold for the future.
Be Present in Your Journey
There’s a famous quote that always sticks out in times like this, “Life moves pretty fast and if you don’t stop to look around every once in awhile you could miss it”. Dear Ferris Bueller had it right, life moves fast. So fast that before you know it years have passed and you forgot to catch those memories. So instead of focusing on what everyone else is doing, be present in the journey. Appreciate where you are in life without judgment, because good or back it’s part of the journey.
What steps are you taking to ensure that you don’t fall into the comparison trap? Maybe it’s focusing yourself on one goal at a time or simply learning to enjoy the small moments. Share your thoughts in the comments below!