Sure, there’s been many questionable moments when your worst character flaws shine bright…ugh, younger years…but for the most part, you’ve always considered yourself to be an overall good person.
Over the years you’ve grown wiser and learned from the mistakes and hardships. Every day is marked with the greatest intentions of building an honest life. Holding the belief that every good deed, rather noticed or not, builds upon cosmic energy.
Good deeds attract good energy.
Positive mindsets create the best optimists. Someone who can visualize the good outcomes from the worst situations.
An unwavering knowledge that every experience is a lesson worth learning. Perhaps it’s an optimistic’s outlook that makes being the “nice-one” an easy target for those who want to take advantage.
When someone else is in need it feels right to come to their aid, in fact, it’s a no-brainer. You show up. Often times, going out of the way to help them without judgment or expecting praise in return.
In theory, when you help someone else it should be appreciated, right? But what happens when that generosity is being taken advantage of?
Have you ever found yourself pouring energy and resources into uplifting someone else with nothing but negativity returned? What about giving your very last and they still continue to ask for more? When nothing you do seems to be enough and it’s affecting your own well-being?
Here’s 5 Tips for Finding Your Voice When Being the Optimist Gets Taken Advantage of:
#1. Don’t Give What You CAN’T Afford To Lose
The number one rule of gambling is bet only what you can afford to lose. The same can be said for helping others.
Seeing someone in need especially loved ones will always pull heartstrings. You’d do anything to help, even if it meant hurting yourself. It’s easy to be self-sacrificing when you’re an optimist because well, everything will work out.
Optimists hold the steadfast belief of goodness and light in all situations. Frequently, seeing the positive possibilities and often overlooking the full reality.
The reality, that although you may have the best of intentions not everyone is trustworthy.
Picture This: A close friend with a history of borrowing money and not paying it back is in a financial bind. They ask you for help but you’re on a strict budget with no money to spare. Every cent has been allocated in fact, rent is due in a week. Do you lend them the money hoping that this time, they’ll pay you back? Or do you acknowledge their past history and say no?
Whatever the situation maybe, giving when it will ultimately have a negative impact on yourself is an absolute NO.
#2. Someone Else’s Problems Isn’t Your Own
Everyone has a sad tale, including you. Some worst than others but learning to deal with the failures and pain is a part of life. Our demons make life complicated and carrying the weight of past hurts is a heavy burden.
Obviously, leaning on others for support is both natural and healthy.
After all, it’s nice to have someone to talk too and likewise, it’s nice when others seek your advice. In a crisis, you’re the first call for many. Your strength, kindness, and decisiveness is the reason others turn to you.
But there’s a fine line between being supportive and making their problems your responsibility.
Each experience is a turning point, especially the bad ones. They’re the moments when we decide to either make a change or continue down the same path. When you try to fix someone else’s problem you deprive them of a learning moment.
A moment that makes them realize that although they have people on their team, it’s their fight.
#3. Know When Enough is ENOUGH
How do you know when enough is enough? Simple, when helping someone else is negatively affecting your own emotional health and wellness.
Even optimistic people have a breaking point. When stress levels skyrocket and the most well-intentioned person admits failure. Not everyone you help will be open to the reception, in truth some may take you for granted.
Perhaps even expecting for you to regularly drop everything and come to their aid.
When this happens, boundaries are key.
Communicating the limits of your help. Voicing clearly what you are willing to provide and not being afraid to say no.
#4. It’s Ok to Say NO
The word NO – is the ultimate definition of rejection. It can make relationships extraneous and turn situations awkward but saying no is a skill worth getting comfortable with.
When someone asks for your time, energy and resources it’s ok to say no.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t care but it precisely states that you are not willing to get involved. That although you’ve helped in the past, it’s up to them to figure it out now.
Whatever the reasoning, you have a right to say no.
And guess what?… You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
#5. Understand Your Personal Boundaries
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we require from others that establish guidelines essential for our own comfort.
These boundaries can be influenced by culture, religion or even negative situations from our past. Luckily the people in our lives have a good sense of what boundaries are required to build and maintain healthy relationships. Unfortunately, some people will test and overstep your boundaries.
Optimists are often seen as naive and unassertive which can lead to boundaries being crossed.
In a world where even the most positive and well-intended people can be taken advantage of, it’s important for us to understand our own limits and not be afraid to voice them.
Even when others expect conformity.
Optimists see the world in all it’s beauty. We recognize that there are many demons but choose to remain hopeful in all situations. Sometimes this can lead to an optimist being taken advantage of, but instead of focusing on the negatives we continue to believe in the power of positive thinking.
Do you often find your optimistic nature being taken advantage of?
What changes do you want to make?